The Results Are In

The biopsy results actually turned out how we wanted! The protein necessary for implantation is missing from my uterus. I really thought it would be there and we would be screwed. But since it's missing, now we have an idea why this hasn't been working. And now we have something new to try.

Now I've got another weird medical dysfunction to add to my ridiculous medical history. It's almost laughable at this point. I can't make this shit up.

The doctor actually e-mailed my lady today, which was good because I can't get calls at work except at very specific times and I have no Internet access at work. That's a whole different story, though. Almost a month into the school year and since the construction still isn't done I have no network access. But don't even get me started on that.

I haven't been able to find out a lot about this missing protein on Google. And we don't get to talk to the doctor a lot. Probably even less now since she's getting ready to drop a baby of her own in a couple of weeks. I have no idea why I'm missing the protein. All I've read is that it's not common and it's usually connected to endometriosis. But from what the doctor did tell us and what I could find out, it is treatable and pretty successfully.

On day 3 of my next period I'll go in for a Lupron shot, but it's a different Lupron than I took before. I don't know the pharmacology and why it's different, but it is. We thought I'd be on Lupron for 90 days straight, but it's one shot a month for 3 months. And then we have to wait some more weeks after that to do another biopsy. If the gods be good, the protein will be present in the second biopsy and we would be able to go forward with another FET, hopefully with a better chance of being successful. If after 3 months the protein still isn't there, then we will go from there. One thing at a time.

I can't say I'm excited about having another biopsy, though. I guess since I had it in my mind that the protein would be there, this would be the end of our journey and I wouldn't have to go through that again. I guess it's a good thing I have to do it again, but I'm really not looking forward to that.

I guess things are looking up a little now. In some ways I think this is just as hard as if this would have been the end. We've spent a lot of time coming to terms with the possibility that it could have been the end and I was almost at acceptance, myself. The hope that we still might have a baby is positive, don't get me wrong. But it's going to be over 4 more months of all this. This is a very hard process but I am hopeful that we will be able to cope better than we could last year.

I feel like the tone of my blog has gotten very depressing. I'm going to try to write about happier things. I wouldn't want to read this if I didn't write it myself. Sorry.