An unconventional journey through assisted reproductive technology (and hopefully pregnancy and parenthood.)

About Me

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They say 30's are the new 20's. My wife and I have been together for over a decade now. We both work in the fast paced world of academia. Our state (and recently all others across the country) have finally allowed all marriage so we made that happen October 2014.

I'm a pretty big nerd, I'll be the first to admit. I love video games (yes, as a girl and yes, at my age). I have lots of other nerd hobbies and since I was unceremoniously banned from RuneScape, I've been playing Civilization and Skyrim. My real first nerd love is Magic the Gathering. 10,000 cards and growing, but that's an expensive hobby when you have two babies.

I have other grown-up interests too, especially reading. I like reading so much I have 3 Kindles and I also used to be a martial artist (one belt away from black belt. I'll finish someday.)

But now I've got twins and I have a feeling a lot of those hobbies are going to change.

Saturday, July 19, 2014

Week 13 - Expect misery.

It has been another busy two weeks, especially considering we're supposed to be on summer vacation here.

We saw the perinatologist for the first time and got another ultrasound and some video of them bouncing around!

Their nuchal scan was perfect and they're measuring 13 weeks (on Friday), so they're still ahead by a few days. The doctor was really great. He was really honest and told us to literally "expect misery" after 30 weeks. But it wasn't in an asshole way. It was just a statement of truth and we appreciated that. Too often doctors sugar coat things. He was really thorough too and answered all of our questions. They're more familiar with IVF than at the regular O/B. I guess because so many multiples come from IVF. But it was nice to be able to explain to them how we got there and have them understand what we were talking about.

We've started getting some baby furniture. My mom's goal is to get one big piece a month until they're born, or until the nursery is furnished. This month was the bassinets. They're really cool and apparently the cats think so too because they totally made themselves comfortable the moment we put them together. We had been expecting this and had talked to the vet about it last time we were there. She said you have to let them explore the new stuff. You can't ban a cat from anything, but you can make it so they're not as interested. We now filled them with a bunch of backpacks and shoes and Guitar Hero stuff so when they jump in it's not comfortable and it's their decision to jump out. It worked and neither of them has tried to jump in for days now.

I also painted the babies' room. We were going to go with yellow, but decided on mint green instead. It will look great with the dark brown furniture. We don't have much in the way of decoration decided yet, but my lady did make this cute button rainbow to hang on the wall.

One of the biggest things we did this week was to see a lawyer. We've never had any kind of legal documents made before, mostly because we've never really had anything worth protecting before. But now we've got the house and two kids on the way. While we do have the domestic partnership, we found out that it's basically toilet paper, legally. It really doesn't give us any kind of rights. The lawyer is going to do estate planning for us, which basically is our wills and declaring each other power of attorney (and a secondary should some misfortune befall both of us at the same time) for medical and financial decisions. She is also going to set up a trust and appoint my brother and sister-in-law power of attorney secondary and custodian if we both go before the kids turn 18. And lastly she is going to look into how we stand with parental rights legally. She was really interested in our situation but she wasn't familiar with the legality so she said she is going to look into it. Ideally we both want to be able to sign the birth certificate, but we don't know if that is an option. If not, we might have to do a second parent adoption after they're born.

We went to our second Mothers of Multiples meeting. There were a lot more moms than last month's meeting and some brought their babies. One had a 2-week-old. She slept the whole time (the baby, not the mom). I like that in a baby. Another had 10-week-old identical twin girls and they were adorable too. It's still too intimidating for me to hold other peoples babies, but I was very interested in just observing them.

We don't have quite so much planned for the next two weeks, but things have a habit of popping up, so who knows.

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