I have been on vacation for most of this month so I was able to spend a lot more time with the babies. They change so much, so quickly. Before Nathan was our relaxed and patient baby. Now he has discovered his hands and feet and he is having a hard time coping with them, I guess. Most of the time he is still really happy and smiley (though we can't get him to smile in pictures for anything). But he is also having some tantrums now that make Charlotte look like chill. It's so hard to calm him down once he gets really upset. Charlotte is still pretty cranky too, but she has really calmed down. I don't know if it's because she's older now or because we've been giving her this stuff called Colic Calm, but she is happy more of the day now.
Both are starting to use their little baby voices. When they're in good moods, they oooh and aaah and smile and it's actually really cute. As I mentioned Nathan discovered his hands and he loves putting them in his mouth now. I think Charlotte has discovered her hands too, but she's not making as big of a deal out of it as Nathan. Both can support their own weight when practice standing, though they have no sense of balance yet.
|Charlotte - the happiest baby burrito |
west of the Mississippi
We spent a lot of time driving around this vacation. For the most part the babies will sleep in the car. And when they're sleeping, they're not screaming. So we drove and drove any place we could think of. Last week we actually took a 750 mile (each way) road trip just to get out of town and go do something. The babies did great as long as I was in the back with them to tend to them.
I've been going to doctors while I was on break. I'm still pretty depressed and they're trying me on different medications, but none of them seem to be working well. One helped me sleep, but bade me want to kill myself. The newest one gives me such a stomach ache, I don't even want to take it. But I'll keep trying to figure out something because I'm not getting better. I really hope my kids don't inherit this, but depression runs in the family.
I'm still having a hard time being a mom. I take care of them, but I don't fit into the mom role. I've actually stopped going to our mothers of multiple meetings. I just don't feel like I fit in with them anymore. Actually, we went to a barbecue at a friend's house and I fit in more with the dads in the backyard at the grill than with the moms inside. I don't really like to think that I'm adopting a stereotypical lesbian 'dad' role. Whatever it is, it's going to be unique and it's probably going to take me a while to figure it out.