An unconventional journey through assisted reproductive technology (and hopefully pregnancy and parenthood.)

About Me

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They say 30's are the new 20's. My wife and I have been together for over a decade now. We both work in the fast paced world of academia. Our state (and recently all others across the country) have finally allowed all marriage so we made that happen October 2014.

I'm a pretty big nerd, I'll be the first to admit. I love video games (yes, as a girl and yes, at my age). I have lots of other nerd hobbies and since I was unceremoniously banned from RuneScape, I've been playing Civilization and Skyrim. My real first nerd love is Magic the Gathering. 10,000 cards and growing, but that's an expensive hobby when you have two babies.

I have other grown-up interests too, especially reading. I like reading so much I have 3 Kindles and I also used to be a martial artist (one belt away from black belt. I'll finish someday.)

But now I've got twins and I have a feeling a lot of those hobbies are going to change.

Wednesday, June 3, 2015

5 Months
This month has been pretty eventful in the world of baby. They started on their first solid foods. When we tell people that, a lot are surprised that they start so young. We were at first, but they are doing great. Charlotte didn't take to it at first, but both have made it through orange vegetables now. Nathan had a reaction to pumpkin, we think. They both love sweet potato and squash. And they tolerate carrots.They're eating green vegetables now. Charlotte loved avocado and Nathan hated it, which makes me think he must have been switched at the hospital. Next they will eat fruits and at 6 months they can have the level 2 food pouches, which are much more interesting.

Nathan got his first haircut this month. His hair was getting out of control, especially on the sides. And his bangs were going to be getting in his eyes soon. We expected a major tantrum, but he was a little charmer. Thank goodness. Charlotte doesn't have enough hair to hold a clip-on bow, let alone warrant a haircut.

Speaking of little man, he discovered his wiener this month too. It's pretty funny, though I wish he didn't stare at us while he tugs on it. It's a little weird.

Now that the weather is warming up, we were able to spend some time in the baby pool in the backyard. They both really enjoyed it.

Both babies are really moving their hands now. They can grab things and they love to grab my hair. Nathan loves to put his left index finger in his mouth. I don't know if he's chewing on the finger to feeling the inside of his mouth or what. Charlotte's colic pretty much stopped out of nowhere. She's a normal baby now. Still a little high strung, but she has more adorable moments now. Nathan is going through a super clingy phase. Both of them prefer us to other people, but Nathan freaks out if one of us isn't in his direct line of vision or holding him. They're at the age where they're supposed to start learning how to self-soothe but it's hard letting them cry it out.

This month marks 1 year since the transfer. And almost exactly on that day...we got a bill from the fertility clinic for the past year of embryo storage. I had been expecting it. Only 1 year was included with the IVF package we paid for, so we had to pay for this past extra year. That was a shock, but what really threw us was that we had to decide if we wanted to continue to store the remaining embryos. We know we don't want any more kids. Some people are like "oh, you will when they're older" and maybe we might wish for more little ones in a moment of insanity. But in reality, we both feel that our family is complete.

We had decided back when we started that we wanted the remaining embryos to be donated to the clinic for research. The only way I would have considered donating them to another person is if it was one of my good friends, but that didn't turn out to be possible. So we had sign the consent for them to be thawed, used and destroyed. I didn't think it would bother me, but it kind of did. Not because either of us are like anti-abortion or "life begins at conception" or anything like that. We know it's just tissue. But it's like the end of a very long and emotional journey. Plus, those little fuckers have cost us near $40K and to think that they're just going to be destroyed kind of stings. But we're working through it.

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