Pre-Lupron Scan

So I've been taking birth control for a week or so now. Today they did an ultrasound to see what's going on down there before I start Lupron tomorrow. Everything looks whatever, so it starts again. I've been growing a pretty awesome power bush, but I did trim it up this morning. It looks pretty nice now, if I do say so myself.

I should get my period in a couple more weeks (another reason to trim the bush) and then I go for an ultrasound on day 3 of that cycle. Then we go through all the motions of ultrasounds to measure the lining, bloodwork, etc. They've given us an approximate FET date of June 20. If this one actually works, we'd be having the baby in early March.

Most of this cycle will be after the school year is over. I'm hoping that the significantly reduced stress will be a positive thing and maybe give me better chances this time. The nurse also confirmed with me today that we'll be transferring two this time, which should also increase the chances. Part of me isn't sure if we should use both of our boys that we have left or do one boy and one of the mystery embryos we haven't had tested yet. I figure that way, we have one boy left for sure if there is a next time. I don't know. It makes sense in my head. We have a while to think about that, though.

I was thinking about the timing today. We have a field trip tomorrow. The fifth graders compete against other schools in a track meet. It's a pretty big deal. Anyway, I was thinking about timing because this time last year we were doing the second IUI. I had a doctor's appointment on the day of the track meet and it was the biggest shit show finding a sub for that. It worked out in the end and that's not really the point of my flashback. The point is, that this has been almost two years of our lives (including all the planning and testing the year before that) with this business now. And time is ticking. I'm going to be 32 this year. 35 is generally the age where things start to get really tricky trying to conceive. As if things haven't been tricky enough already.

I still really haven't gotten over the first FET failing. I've never experienced disappointment like that before. I don't really know how to deal with it. I know time heals all wounds and all that crap, but I really don't have a lot of time here. And starting the Lupron tomorrow is going to make me an even bigger train wreck emotionally.

Something needs to start working out or I might really lose my mind :\